What? You READ this?

I furrow my brows curiously as it occurs to me that read this blog that I write so that people can read it. Mayhap I should have suspected as much, this curious trend of people reading writing, but I still find myself taken aback - like a puppy who glances behind himself and discovers - Eureka! - he has a tail. I'm quite pleased that anyone at all, especially such lovely people as I happen to know have read this blog, takes the time to read my social logbook. To those of you that read it because my mom, ahem, suggests you do so, well, thank you to you too.

This whole internet writing business has been pretty useful. I did not want to write simply about my desire for friends, because that's not interesting, and while I think I a lot of people can relate to the desire for quality friendships, sitting along moaning into cyberspace about it is not an efficient problem-solving method, and if I'm going to use my computer to ignore the world and forgo human interaction, then I'm going to do it right and start playing WOW. At least then I'll be defeating evil. (Because while I wouldn't, if I did, Alliance, obviously, sorry Walrus).

Anywho, I wanted to write about a quest for friends. An epic search! I wanted to document my going forth and seeking that which I am unworthy and unprepared to seek, but nevertheless I go on! On! Fighting, bleeding, dodging orcs and foaming at the mouth until Samwise finally throws me over his shoulder and hefts me up the mountain! (Thus fulfilling my destiny and his deepest fantasy)! I used to think I liked the fantasy genre (of which Lord of the Rings reigns supreme) because of the escapism - because of the lack of reality. But that's not it at all. These epic stories reflect the deeper truths of real life, and the grand scale of the stories serves to magnify the themes that surround us every day and should be, but hardly ever are, obvious. There is a good fight to fight, there are insurmountable forces, and we are not qualified to overcome the evil that threatens to destroy. Yet we're still called upon to fight, and in some respects, everything does depend upon us doing what we are called to do. I can't watch Lord of the Rings, Narnia, or even Harry Potter, without thinking, "Hey! This is real, the world is dying and God is desperate that we fight with him to save it!" Those fantasies get me in the gut because they strip off the frills and show us the scale of our lives.

Scale it back now - I think I was having a flashback to a really excellent essay I wrote in college. The problem with this epic principal when I apply it to my life, however, is that actual action is required. I mean action besides crying. And calling my mom. And those are two things I am very good at. If crying and calling your mom were an Olympic event, then the world would watch me take gold in London. Not only can I cry and call my mom simultaneously, I can hold off crying until I can also call my mom, or sometimes I make sure I have my mom on the line (and I'm never dissuaded if I can't through the first time, or if it's early in the morning, no, I'll track her down), and then commence crying. I don't feel I need to limit myself to once a day either. The second day I was married, I resisted crying on the phone to my mom. And that was the end of that. In light of Mother's Day, let's just acknowledge that some moms are amazing. And a mom that is ready to encourage her daughter tirelessly, and is committed to telling her what she needs to hear not just what she wants to hear, is one of the amazing ones. So I don't mind if I take a sentence to thank my mom, and I don't feel bad, because she very well may be the only one reading this!!

Now I think it's about time I make my point. Writing this blog has forced me to be accountable. I can't write that I'm going to do something and not do it (again, my mom reads this, and what would she think?) I had to take actual steps to reach out, and those steps have been matched by those that already love me. God has blessed my efforts and I've reaped more than I've sown. My friends have helped me find friends. Thank you to all. Maybe I should blog about other areas of my life, and get those quandaries somewhat organized as well. But one thing at a time. And I don't want to say I now have all the friends I want or even all the friends I need. I'm definitely not saying I'm going to stop, cut back, or even ease up on crying and calling my mom. (Though it has been a few weeks!) I just see things blooming, and I'm grateful and encouraged. So many people are so wonderful. I highly recommend them. Seek them out, and you'll be rewarded. Status update? This week I had lunch with Neighbor girl again and we both ordered in Spanish. Good times. Next week I have a date to have lunch with Co-Worker, who has the same name as Neighbor girl. Also, the girl that owns the best coffee shop in the world also lives in my complex and I think we could become friends here with a little extra effort on my part. I don't know if it's silly that I never use names, but I just don't know how people would feel about it. But I'll give you a hint - all three of the aforementioned females have the same name. And it's the same name that I have. I'm a big fan of diversity, but if it ain't broke... love you all!